Today

As anticlimatic as that sounds, it's actually a pretty big deal. Today is, among other things, the first time you've heard a peep on this blog since Shanghai, and a very big deal.

Today:

I tried out the shower in our new apartment, now outfitted with a shower curtain, hooks, towels, and all sorts of cute vibes. Not only did it not drain a single tablespoon of my water usage (a good way to become water conscious), it also employs highest water pressure I've ever felt-that is, other than that which causes injury (I have also felt. Ow.). Whew. I guess my showers will be really fast from now on?

The nice lady at BBB let me order my new can opener from online without paying shipping. I think $30 is just WAY too much for one of those things. Sweet of her, especially considering I was a total space job this morning.

After Physics 201, the walls/ceiling/floor/world starting shaking with tremors. Glass shuddered in cabinets and I thought the roof was going to cave in as a 5.9 earthquake hit and stayed for almost 2 minutes. There were students laughing at our caution as we hid under a door frame. Afterwards, a teacher walked around announcing "It's fine! Just an earthquake!" Um.. just? I drove home and found that the epicenter of the earthquake was only about 40 miles away. We were lucky to have no damage to our apartment.

I got calls from my dad, mom, stepmom, mother-in-law, and brother, as well as a FB message from my stepsister. I love you all, too. Thanks for worrying. (:

I did what I considered to be "lots" of homework, and then found out I needed to read over 60 pages of textbook in addition to the work I was finishing. Beautiful.

I did my French homework, then reluctantly purchased the required textbook that goes along with the workbook I already owned. *sigh* Another wad of cash gone.
By the way, never buy anything from the school bookstore. textbooks.com and chegg.com have become my new friends in saving [literally] hundreds of dollars on books. Love them.

I had a 30-minute battle with a spider on the window blinds. It was more of a phsycological battle. I can't kill spiders. At least not willingly. Finally, I made a mad dash at it with the was of paper towels in my hand, and it disappeared. [Insert mild panic attack as I search my hair and run around like a crazy person trying to "get it off me!!!"] Thankfully, it had landed on the floor instead of the me. After another self-battle, I eventually managed to slam it flat with an unwanted book... and then I smashed it another then times to make sure it wouldn't come out. Then I left the book there... for hours until I could get up the courage to put it in the trash. It was a struggle.

I found out there's a hurricane about to hurl itself toward Virginia this Friday. Really?! Why? The only two weeks I'm here alone without Michael there has to be an earthquake and a hurricane? ...I digress.

I found out a tutorial on how to use a Physics 201 testing site (by completing their examples) is really hard when you don't already know physics. Delta mass by feta m squared times three gravity...hm.

And I decided to finally tell you what's going on in my life. I will do better, I promise. If you're still curious, I'm going to post a huge linkable photoable clickable story of our stay in Shanghai. It will just take me a while to format and such. Stay tuned!

Shanghai!

This is the email I sent to my family today. Sorry for reposting instead of converting, but the free proxy internet trail ends too soon. Love you all!

By the way, Shanghai is acutally Sh "ah" nghai. Who knew?

Family! (: 

According to the computer it's 849pm on Sunday, which means 649pm for my friends and fam back home. If you would log onto your emails we could Skyyype... (: It's Monday morning in Shanghai, China. Something about erasing a day from my existence via fling here is really messed up. The day is just.. gone. I had no Saturday, thank you. But I can tell you about Friday and Sunday! Haha.

Friday: 

The plan: NYC-Detroit, land at 3, leave at 4. Detroit-Shanghai, land at 7-ish China time, take law firm's car to hotel, go grocery shopping, be in China. 

The not-so plan: NYC-Detroit, land at 3: all went surprisingly well. Delta allows not one, but TWO free checked bags internationally. I was a happy camper. I landed in Detroit and booked it down to my gate (since we were boarding in like 10 minutes). I sat patiently, hung out, and finally walked up to the counter and asked if we shouldn't already be boarding (since intl flights are a mandatory 30 minutes prior). The lady gave me a look of extreme pity and lovingly broke the news that our flight was delayed, something about the crew flying too long to be legal, landing in Seattle, and will be here in time for us to board at 11pm.

 ... ... ... wait, what?! Not leaving until 11? 

No, ma'am. 

...that's almost 8 hours late. 

We sincerely apologize. 

...um... okay.. I'll just go sit over there. 

She printed me meal vouchers, which I didn't even register until I was already sitting and noticed something in my hand. One for lunch, one for dinner, $6 each. I almost laughed out loud, it was really hard not to let pessimism get the better of me. What can you buy for $6 in an airport? A bottle of water. 

This wouldn't have been such an issue, but Michael's flight arrived the same time as mine ...would have. 7 hours earlier, now. He'd have to wait for 7 hours in the airport (which he did) or let me ride a taxi to a hotel we didn't know the Chinese address of. And we'd miss out on the free car there. ...beautiful. Regardless, I had over 7 hours, I might as well eat. I kind of like to sorrow in food.. it helps. So I bought an appetizer and a meal, and pondered over dessert, too. What? I got $6 off... it's like a free appetizer. The food was waaay bigger than I'd imagined, so I took my pasta/comfort food as leftovers and ate it as I sat at my gate for the next few hours. They kept coming over the announcer and apologizing, updating us on the situation (once again!) to tell us that nothing had changed. The guy next to me responded in kind with the F word. I pretty much knew how he felt. At the moment I was contemplating never using Delta again... at least Continental had little TVs... meh. I read Ivanhoe for upwards of 5 hours, stopping once to go buy overpriced, but amazing, chocolates further down the terminal. Of those waiting, about 3% were not Chinese. Haha. Eventually the announcer came on to tell us that our boarding time was pushed back to 12:15, putting us in Shanghai at approximately 3am. ... insert remarks from the guy across from me. Make that 8 hours. At this time I wished I'd called Bubs, since he was about a 2.5 hour drive away... but I didn't know how we would have hung out in the airport or anything, anyway. I had a funky mix of trying-to-be-nice-optimism and anger-pissed-off-i-hate-this going on. So I read Ivanhoe instead of deciding. 

When we finally boarded (at 12am) the 747 (HUGE!), I was relieved to see a window by my seat (also known as excellent sleeping mechanism), and a normal, quiet Chinese businessman next to me. Whew. Score. ...never assume anything, people. The cute couple behind me had a baby who, apparently, really hated the take-off. She screamed at an impressive rate of about 50x a minute... not the normal aaaaaaaaahhhh.... It was like aah aaah! Aaah! AAAh!! AAAHHH!!!... repeat for fifteen minutes. Holy cow. It was about at this moment I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or just maintain my normal "I'm sort of okay" face. I had a 13+ hour flight ahead of me, the aforementioned sitting behind me, and I really wished I could have stayed in NY, and I didn't want to live in China. You could call it my worst moment, but I don't know if the ones that came later are worse just because they're 13 hours later and in China... probably. 

The flight was really good. This is the break in the pissed off Tiffany of this story. Of 13 hours, I only remember about 4 of them. Whew! The kid in front of me (who liked to bounce in his seat A LOT) ended up sleeping in some way that put his foot through the space between us by the window... random.. and pushed his pillow (those little Delta sudo-pillows?) back to me. Hm... I took the opportunity to double stuff my oversized pillow case with both of our puny pillows, and created a perfect pillow masterpiece. Thank you, thank you. (: Between me and the wall, that pillow gave me almost 10 hours of sleep. Ah, love. LOOVE. The flight service has 2 meals (YAY!) of interestingly good airplane food. Each one had  "Western Choice" and a "Chinese Choice" option. Considering the flight was like 97% Chinese, I was amazed at how few of them liked their own food. ...just saying. The first meal was Chicken with a demi-glace sauce (<3!), stuffing?! (<3!), carrots (yay!), fruits (yay!), roll (yay!...okay..) salad (eh..), and spinach (avoid). Awesome. By the time the second meal got to the 57th row, the Chinese option was the only one left. Me: Do you not have any of the pasta left? Flight attendant: You'll like the [ginger] chicken. Me (to self): What the.. how on earth would you know? I really doubted I was going to like it, which is interesting later on. Anyway.

Sunday:

We landed in Shanghai at 2 am (early! Yaay!) and got through customs surprisingly easily. Did you know they do video face recognition to your passport? Hm...  Michael was so cute, after reading hours of Jane Austen and sleeping when possible, he looked very handsome and happy to see me. I was somewhat glad we'd flown separately, so I could have Tiffany moments without sharing them out loud. It had been hard for me, but making it hard for him would have gotten us nowhere. 

As we walked out, a taxi driver offered to take us to our location for 250RMB.. 6.4RMB/1 dollar. Michael's company had told him it should cost about 140, so we refused and walked out to the curb service. The lady gave us a "well, if you're that stupid" scoff.. made me a little nervous. Our driver didn't speak English (something I would find is very common.. crap) at all. We were very surprised to see the ticker at 4.7RMB/km go up.. and up... and up... above 140, above 200 (which is all we had at this point), and not stop until about 240. ...eeerm... This is what we have. Here's a $5 dollar bill to make up for it. He didn't understand the exchange rate, and demanded more from us in confused Chinese. So we got hosed. Okay. Fine. 

We got into the lobby at 4AM, and felt hosed again when they requested 2000RMB for deposit and 300RMB for the internet for 21 days. ... that's almost $400 unexpected dollars, and it's 4AM. Let's just do this, we have no choice... we paid our (what do they call the guy that does your luggage? porter?) in dollars, which is illegal, but he took it. We then did an inspection of our apartment, which is lovely, see link: http://www.metroparkhotels.com/hotel/eng/rooms.php?hotel=shanghai (except not quite that bright or decorated...that looks almost too cheery). 

5AM Shanghai time, and At LAST I was ready to collapse onto our bed and sleep. I sat down... and just busted up laughing. The bed was about as soft as your average ironing board. No joke. I didn't sink hardly at all, despite the sheets/covers/etc. Apparently this is very normal for China. Michael (hard mattress lover) = very happy.

I woke up early, since the plane sleep made up for a lot that night, feeling a little off. I attributed it to my fear of being in Shanghai, and stayed in bed as long as possible. Not that the bed was comfy or anything.. I just didn't feel up to the day as of yet. When I stood up, I was a little nauseous and light-headed, but I still thought nothing of it. I had slept with wet hair, for only 3 hours, after a 13 hour flight and an 8 hour delay, and we were in Shanghai... a little nauseous is kind of expected. Michael asked if I felt like we should stay home, but I figured skipping church is never a good idea when you need as much help as I did. I tottered downstairs, we got our destination in Chinese (yees!) and we walked to the Chinese Ntl Bank to change the rest of our dollars to RMB. I am awesome at getting taxis. Just a note. Not that it's that hard, or that much of an accomplishment, but something about being 5'10 and American is good for getting taxis. As we drove to church (in a large business tower in Shanghai, 2nd floor conference room.. whoa), I laid my head down as Michael remarked how Soviet-like the building complexes were. He tried pointing things out to me, but looking out at the zooming buildings wasn't  doing much for my nausea. 

It was about the time I stood up out of the taxi that I realized I was really not okay. Without explaining (mostly unable to), I ran into the building, and hoped the bellman understood the my frantic "bathroom?". He pointed, confused, and I ran for it. I swear, ~100 yards has never been so far. My body really really wanted to soil their lovely tile floors; it tried repeatedly, me running with a covered mouth to prevent a huge scene. I made it to the restroom, and ran to the first thing I saw, a sink, before I could finally take my hands away. Can you say instant relief?  I surveyed the damage. Hair: alright. Shirt: better. Face: not so lucky (due to my hands thwarting the previous attempts). The Chinese cleaning ladies that came in after me were very nice, despite not understanding a word I said, and brought me toilet paper for my face. Score one for humanity, no language barriers needed. It must have been a very strange scene to them. Honestly, I'm blaming the airplane food. 

The look on Michael's face when I walked out was the sweetest/saddest thing I'd ever seen. He makes this involuntary puppy face: "If I'd known you were so sick I wouldn't have even let you leave the room... do you want to go back now?" I assured him I was fine (instant relief, remember?), and we slipped in to Sacrament meeting upstairs a little late. I'll have to post pictures after next week, since we didn't bring the camera. It looks like this: http://www.colliersid.com/property_images/3011_lg.JPG

Also see the attached google map image, the conference center where we meet is on the right, a large circular room. 

Church was awesome, and in English! Oh, heavenly. The speakers were of Chinese descent.. but Australian. Interesting. The ward picks all the happy hymns, like Scatter Sunshine. Fun. (: Sunday school was bueno (about the washing of feet ordinance and the last supper). I'm constantly reminded how amazing Michael is whenever we go to church together. He makes all these little insightful side comments to me, references, stories, corrections on the speakers sometimes. Me: Dude, you should share this out loud, too. He did, and the teacher was amazed. "Oh. Actually, that's next in the lesson.. yeah.." I love my husband. Relief society was bueno (about DC 89 and the word of wisdom.. it made me want to drink more OJ), and life was all good. We gravitated towards Reid Smoot and his wife, who are here and in the ward. Very nice people. I find it somewhat hilarious that the Smoots have made such a huge company out of Zoobies. Spell? http://hollywoodhotmoms.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/zoobies.jpg

I LOVE it. It's like a pillow pet, but it's a pillow blanket pet. Zoobie. Cracks me up. Reid lives and works here solely based off of this business and how well it does in Shanghai. Jacob lives off of it in Utah. Apparently they're a huge hit. So cute! I like Lencho the lion. Michael has an alligator one (Kojo the croc) back home. We should get Alicia the pig and Momma the black bear. (My mind trails on: And Don the dog and Tara the zebra and Jamie the cow and....)

I caught the taxi home (I'm a master, I'm telling you), and our driver spoke zero English, again. Not normally an issue, but she also didn't know where we were going. During the drive she called her friend and asked directions. Haha. Even in Chinese, that's obvious. We did a little grocery shopping when we got home, and bought some OJ (see, the WoW talk totally inspired me), crackers, cookies, sprite (I had been sick), water (tap=a no-go here), and 2 noodle packages-like Ramen, but 10x better. So good.. I'm going to go buy it in bulk today. (: I decided to see what I could make of our bed/ironing board, and found a spare comforter, which I folded into a bed mat. Score! It was almost big enough to be my mat and my covers, so I had to try snuggling into it. Bad plan. Snuggling into something comfy after all of the above = instant sleep. Michael woke me up to our spicy beef ramen (amazing, like I said), and then let me go back to sleep. He joined me later just to say something.. I don't remember what, and fell asleep, too. Haha. We both slept through our dinner appointment at the Smoot's. Oops! They were really nice about it, and let us reschedule for a time when we'd be move alive. 

So we went walking for our dinner. Michael loves to walk in big cities, I tend to hole-up inside. He's good for me. We walked a few blocks and picked the most crowded of the casual restaurants on the street. Michael wanted a picture menu, since we both have 0 Chinese, and I wanted it to be good food for sure. We're kind of like sore thumbs here, and everyone stares at least a little when we walk anywhere. People on the street, in the restaurant, in the hotel. It's almost fun. Anyway, sat down and started trying to figure out the limited pictures they had on the menu, and this cute skinny Chinese guy gets up from his date and says (in English!): "Excuse [me], I [am] not very good [at] English, but maybe I [can] help you?" So cute. The fact that he can say even that much makes him a master here. He would have us write our English words (like "noodle") into his blackberry-type phone, and translate them to Chinese. He let us try his food, and then ordered for us at the counter. Love him. We got two plates of soy/saucey noodles with cabbage (bok choy?), and 6 of the house uberfamous specialty beef steamed dumplings. Unfortunately, we also got chopsticks. ...hm. I will say that I put forth a valiant effort, and noodles are really really hard to pick up no matter how skilled you may attempt to be. By the way, 2 plates of tasty noodles and 6 dumplings = about $5. Including drinks. Haha. We love it.

Michael and I stayed up till 11, thanks to our earlier naps and both of us still needing to read scriptures and say prayers together. (Kind of odd to have skipped Saturday in our daily routine, there. ...it's like unfortunate cheating. I guess we'll gain that day back when we fly home? Okay.) It's good to stay up late, because otherwise you'll wake up with the sun at about 5 AM. Hm. Let's not. My bed mat was awesome, I managed to sleep on my side, and it was all good. 

Monday:

This morning Michael tried the gym that's attached to the hotel (but a separate business...?). He said it's small, but good. We just have to get him gloves so the spiked weights don't rub his hands completely raw. Haha. Gloves.. in China... yeah, that will come eventually. I'm pretty sure he's dying for lack of a gym these past 2 months (with finals, UT, and NY). I'm glad he gets to have one here. Anyway. 

I spent the morning writing this email. I love you all. That was sort of anticlimatic, I know. More stories will come from today, I'm sure, but maybe won't take up such a huge email. Eek! Sorry, everyone. (: I am doing well, am excited to eat more beef noodles, and life is good. You should email me back, tell me stories, or add me on Skype. (: Loves!

Tiff

My "Once Upon A Time"s

Once upon a time, I watched countless Disney movies, as did almost all 90's children. The prince in the story would fight gallantly for the princess (wrestle on a rooftop/fight a dragon/jump from his rowboat to kill the evil sea witch... etc.), sweep her off her feet (kiss her awake/transform into a prince), and they would ride/dance/sail away together to live happily ever after. I wondered if life could have fairy tale endings, or if people could fall in love at first sight.

__________

Once upon a time, I was a junior at PVHS. My mother told me Michael Pergler was staying overnight with us later that day. I thought nothing of it. Later, I was at the bar doing homework (mild shocker, there) when my mother answered the door. I turned around to greet our guest, who I hadn't seen since my childhood. Our eyes met. I smiled. He smiled. My homework motivation was suddenly gone. We talked all night long.

Me: Note to self: date someone like Michael Pergler.

Him: Wow! She's cute! She's smart, fun to talk to... shame she's not a few years older.

__________

Once upon a time, I was 18 and graduated from high school. Derek received his mission call to leave in October of that year. He asked me if I would wait for him on his mission, and write him often. I unabashedly replied "Hey, don't worry about it! I'm only 18. You know I don't want to be married until 25, anyway."

__________

Once upon a time, I was a first semester Freshman at Utah State. It was an early morning in the autumn, all the leaves turning a bright yellow, the clear blue skies, and the little breezes that would dance around your feet. As I walked to class, I suddenly stopped and realized I was absolutely in love with Logan. I thought to myself: "I am so glad that a Bachelor's degree is four years! I can't imagine leaving Logan sooner than that. Even 2 years just wouldn't be enough time here."

__________

Once upon a time, Tara, Mom, and I were driving to SLC to help with Sharisa Pergler's wedding reception over Christmas break, 2010. Mom invented a wedding questionnaire, and asked both her daughters questions about their dreams of marriage. Mom asked, if we had to choose now who we would marry. Tara considered all of her options thoughtfully and eventually listed one of her previous boyfriends. I replied without a second thought: "Michael Pergler." (We had yet to go on a single date.) Mom asked what kind of details we envisioned for our wedding. Tara had a vision of an outdoor wedding, a white tent, knew all the foods and decorations she'd want, and was (by my consideration) pretty well prepared in her mind's eye. I knew almost nothing; I wanted a lace dress and a halo ring.

__________

Once upon a time,  Michael and I worked together to set up his sister's reception. He asked me on a date the next day. We walked for hours that night in streets covered with snow, talking about anything and everything, unwilling to leave. Talking that night, I realized my future had just been completely rewritten. Six days later, Michael told me he loved me and asked me to marry him.

Later, I started planning... with a lace dress and a halo ring. Then I got to figure out the rest.

__________

Once upon a time, a group of four second semster Freshmen huddled by my Mazda in the G2 parking lot outside Central Campus. The night air was bitter, but they hardly noticed. I had dropped all of my 17 credits and withdrawn from USU. Though I had postponed several days, I was finally leaving. Ari clung to me in a farewell hug, but her words wouldn't let me leave. "I don't want you to go. You can't go." I cried fiercely; my desire to do so was even less than hers. Kenny arrived just in time to say goodbye. I had never done anything so hard as to let go of him and drive away that night. I left them a group of three in the parking lot, my vision blurred by my tears.

__________

Once upon a time, a missionary in Montana had been out only three months received a letter from his ex-girlfriend, who was now engaged. He took it surprisingly well, considering.

__________________________________________________________

Once upon a time, I fell in love with Michael Pergler and it turned my world upside down. There are days when I feel like everything that was me doesn't exist anymore; like it's all just gone somehow. Everything I thought I wanted for my life is different. It used to confuse me, trying to start it all over again. 

But, you know, I think Michael is the best decision I've ever made. Marrying him is the greatest gift I've ever received. I love him, and I really want to marry him. I want my life to change. And I want to be with him forever.

So, just maybe, upside down is exactly the way my world is supposed to be. 

----------

Once upon a time, Tiffany had tried to make a huge plan for her life. 

Once upon a time, she was glad that God had something else in mind. 

"Our" Song?

It's important, right? To have a song? I always thought so. It's kind of dreamy in a sweet way, to have a song together.

Let me tell you, my friends, Michael and I don't have a song.
(Yet!)
*sniff*

But this is very two-fold.
One: Michael likes country FAR more than I. I like jazz, pop, rock, and chill music... basically everything but country.
Ex: 
My current list: For Life, You Make My Dreams Come True, She Hung the Moon, Then, Somebody Like You, Do You Remember, When Did You Fall in Love With Me, Magic, The Way You Look Tonight, Quando x3... etc.
Michael's current list (correct me if I'm wrong, babe?): Then, God Bless the Broken Road, 40 Dogs (Romeo and Juliet), Somebody Like You, Fast Cars and Freedom, and many other adorable country songs. 
Two: If it's supposed to be our song, I'd rather it not be everyone else's. Like Brad Paisley's "Then," or Michael Buble's "Everything." Oh. They're SO cute. They're adorable, sweet, the type of song you just gaze into each other's eyes and smile about.
But then again, a few hundred other couples have already done that same thing, for the same song.

Some of you probably (likely) agree with Michael in putting forth that it doesn't matter if other people like it. Everyone falls in love, but that doesn't make love cliche. Why does it matter if you like the same love song?
Maybe you have a point.
Maybe I just like different music and am coming up with excuses. Fair enough.

For now, I submit a fair warning to any who may be attending our receptions: The music will be random. If you don't like country, I suggest you try for the non-country hour of the mix. (; Kidding. I really have no idea yet. But it should be somewhat hilarious.


Until I figure it out, here are two of my current favorites:

Michael's "Quando Quando Quando." Surprisingly appropriate, if you consider.

& Rockwell Church's "She Hung the Moon." 

It's like Dave Matthews Band, but you can understand it a lot more. (:

The Worst Date Ever

I was thinking back on my dating past. Getting married makes you find new appreciation for the complete abandonment of the dating scene. It's hilarious to look back, but not so hilarious to tell stories. Because I generally dated people I liked, it's awkward if I try to tell Michael stories about my experiences. ...because I like him and only him... he generally knows these people anyway... savvy?
But! If the dating experience has no crushes (at least between dates) and lots of awkwardness, it's considered okay.

Therefore: my first date. One of the only dates I've ever gone on that I can thoroughly say I really wish I hadn't gone on. Really. To be frank, it couldn't have been more awkward. As such, those involved who would read this and be embarrassed by it will be given new names. My double date-er friend is now Amy. (Because it's easy and fast to type... let's not lie.)

The date was Tiffany & Brian, Amy & Taylor. Here's why it was an awful idea:

• Amy and Tiffany had been friends for several years (and still are, despite the worst date night ever). 
• Brian and Tiffany had kind of gone through a process of liking each other, Tiffany broke up with her boyfriend to like Brian, discovered she really didn't like Brian, and attempted to end it, but Brian didn't get that quite yet. He remained happy-go-lucky and sort of liked Tiffany. 
• Tiffany and Taylor had become close over the past few years until Taylor started to be honest about his creepy feelings after he'd worked his way into being close to Tiffany and Tiffany immediately stopped trusting him, really didn't like him, and didn't associate with him much at all. 
• Amy had always really liked Taylor and somewhat resented Tiffany for how close they had been and now that they were not, Amy really hoped she'd get a shot with Taylor. 
• Taylor hated Brian openly because Tiffany had liked Brian for a while. He hated him with a passion... more than is really healthy, and displayed it openly. 
• Brian was aware of this dislike, and that Amy liked Taylor a lot. He was a forced mediator, if you will.

So let's get this straight.
Amy-Taylor: likes a lot.
Amy-Brian: mutual okay-ness. The only mutual relationship here.
Amy-Tiffany: long time friends, somewhat resentment

Taylor-Amy: prior knowledge of liking, so far not very nice about it
Taylor-Brian: open hatred
Taylor-Tiffany: broken trust and somewhat creepy liking

Brian-Amy: mutual okay-ness *whew*
Brian-Taylor: willing to give him a shot, happy-go-lucky, aware of hatred
Brian-Tiffany: still harboring slight crush and, again, happy-go-lucky

Tiffany-Amy: long time friends, hopeful for happiness
Tiffany-Brian: slight annoyance with previous situation, mild tolerance
Tiffany-Taylor: distrust and dislike, somewhat displayed (apparently not enough since this date happened)

Here's what happened:
Taylor picked Tiffany up in his "macho" huge truck whose doors felt like prison bars when slammed shut. They met Brian and Amy at Fazoli's (which is now gone; moment of silence, please). Amy tried to get Taylor's attention. Tiffany dealt with everyone with some form of either nervousness and annoyance. Taylor glared at Brian and commented [the whole time] on the cars passing by outside with no thought toward any normal conversation. Poor Brian just tried his best to be nice to everyone and be a good date. He gets real kudos for that.
The whole group goes to the One Acts, and sits together rather awkwardly.. Taylor and Brian end up next to each other (insert distaste), Tiffany absolutely refuses to use the arm rest for fear of giving Taylor the wrong idea. Not sure about Amy.
Taylor drops Tiffany off after and it is somewhat apparent he expected more than a quick goodbye. As a result, Tiffany makes the goodbye even faster. They essentially haven't spoken since.

I don't know if I did this credit. It was absolutely the worst pair-up we could have made. I don't even know why we all agreed to go together.. it was certainly a bad idea. XD. Wow.

The Countdown

I feel like I'm biding my time. Productively, yes, but still. Just biding time until:

• this Wednesday. I fly to VA to see my love for 6 days. (:
• May 1st. I get to have my Stake Pres interview.
• May 8th. Michael will fly to SLC for the purpose of marrying me. ^^
• May 10th. We see most of you in our St. G reception. So happy!
• May 13th. I see the rest of you in the SLC reception. Sorry to have to split them.
• May 14th, especially. When I marry Michael in the temple for the rest of time.

Then I love him for all eternity.
_________________________________________

People like to ask me what I'm most excited for about marriage, what I look forward to.

Well, there's two answers to that.

1) Staying with him. We've said goodbye so much. So many times a day, every night, every visit, and I'm just about ready to just stay with him. I love him. I don't want to say goodbye anymore.

2) Waking up in the morning and seeing him there beside me. This may be my favorite. Something like this:

Kinda makes you smile, doesn't it?

34 days and counting.


(:

For the Record...

...the reason you should all post comments on my blog: you don't have to fill in awkward words like "ratchy" to do it. (That's the word Becca's made me write, and I still commented.) Yes, it would be "safer" and protect me from spam if I made you. But I'm sincerely not worried about spam on my blog... not to mention it's easy to delete.
Meh.
Point: you could comment if you wanted to, with relatively little hassle.

Today, my Gma asked me how long since Michael and I have been together. I immediately responded with "about a week." Come to find out, we'd been apart >4 days at that point. Wow. Fail. Have I mentioned every moment without him feels like an eternity? Literally. It's been 4 days, and I'm already sad/dying.
But it's okay.
Because we're getting married in just over a month.
AAAAAH!! So happy!!! (:

Want to see our wedding photos?
Erm. You can't. I haven't gotten them back.
BUT!
You can see my Mother's side shots, taken like a skilled Momma stalker would. Yay!

This is me after my 6:30 am appointment (insert groan and love for Jarom [the stylist who dealt with the 6:30 appt]). My flowers (which were LOVELY in person, who knew?), and my hairs.. which were 1930's finger waved and pulled back in to a french twist w/ (once again) lovely anemone hair pieces, too.
PS: Who knew Jarom was an amateur flower arranger? He fixed my boquet + inputted flower pieces into my hair. (:

I love him. (: This was our break... since photos aren't really a comfortable situation for either of us. Yay for random little benches in Temple Square.

These will be pretty when I'm looking at the camera and such.. promise.

I am so excited for these. Russ is holding up my veil, so the beaded edge makes it in to the photo with us. (:

Love his hair flower. XD 

Sorry, posting is a little sporadic these days. But, so is life. It's all good.

Oddity of the Moment

New for Facebook relationship statuses: way TMI

Okay, look. What is this? How many different relationship statuses can FB come up with that are "legitimate" for enough people that they become necessary? 

UM.

Frankly, you're either single, dating, or married. 

Yeah, engaged. But it's almost unnecessary. It's just so everyone can get excited and hear "all the news."

If it's complicated, the world doesn't want to know.

If it's open, is it be open enough that everyone needs to know it's not stable?

If I were widowed, I wouldn't give a crap what FB thinks of it. 

Separated... so are you single or married? And what's the difference between that and divorced?

And, really, divorced is not a very nice label.

What is the difference between a civil union and a domestic partnership?

...does it matter? Both of them generally mean you live together without being married.

I'm just really surprised at the direction the world is going, that's all. This is sort of a rant. I hope I don't offend anyone.. I love you all. I accept whatever choices you want to make and still think you're an awesome person. 

But Facebook is kinda screwy sometimes. 

And it came to pass...

...that Tifa had a birthday, became a chalk monster, and got things done. Whoot!
Want to see?

On Thursday, Michael gave me an early birthday present (via my awesome mother in-law).

He bought me anemones. They're the flowers I'm using in our wedding, which I had never seen before! They were lovely in person, much better than on google. So pretty! (: 

Also on Thursday, my parental in-laws made me a homemade spice cake. It was wonderful, except the fabulous frosting overpowered the cake structure and it came slowly down. I have never heard Laurie laugh so hard before. She couldn't compose herself enough to catch the cake as it eventually tore apart and made for the countertop. Hilarious fun. It still tasted amazing. (:

Haha. Love the upright candles.

On Saturday, my best friends came together with me to go to the Holi Festival of Colors in Spanish Fork. We got absolutely covered in scented, (yeah, scented like crap) colored chalk. This is my photo. The white balance is completely shot by all the color. For good photos, click here and be friends with Ashley Imlay.

This afternoon, I drove up to meet Jamers in Logan to plan for a wedding sign-in album. (This is a lie, we actually just love each other and wanted to hang out for hours on end.) We planned it on iPhoto, which is actually a really fun process. See photo of me planning my invites on said program. 

Score of the day: a half gallon of Aggie Bull Tracks, only $5. Love.

Later today, I finally bought the ties for the brothers/fathers at my wedding. WHEW! For those of you who have never planned a wedding, this is actually a bigger deal than it seems. We had this huge discussion over red/green... stripes/paisley/silk... price/bulk deals... ugh. And now, it is done! Yeees. Want to see?

I was asking the guy shopping in the tie shop for advice on his "style" for ties. After a lengthly conversation, I learned he was from France and flying home that night. Go figure. I wonder if he'd like the choice I made...
PS: They come in CUUUTE little boys clip ons for Micah (my nephew). Oh so cute. (:

Tonight, after a painful and drawn-out life of service, my face wash finally ran out. *sniffle* It lasted for over a year, and deserves serious credit.

Yes, I do look like that at night. It could be a lot worse.
See photo to the right and slightly above this one for example.

And now you're officially caught up on the life of me. 

Wait, no.

Michael comes on Thursday night! I miss him dearly. Love him. (: 

Okay, now you're caught up. 

Loves!

Artists whom I Love

Planning a wedding is hilarious, and somewhat messed up from time to time. 

Because it's not really me planning my wedding, it's "the family". So far, mostly my mother, Mel, and Kristina. Don't get me wrong, please, I love having their help. They are so uber talented, and you'll see their work when you come to the reception. It's beautiful.
The hilarious part is that I tried to plan my own wedding in the beginning. Like, I was shopping and picking everything out, renting the places I wanted to be, etc. Then there was a slow takeover and usurping of power/opinions/planning duties. I found that no matter what I did, it was likely I wouldn't be planning my own wedding. So I stopped trying. And, really, a lot more work got done.
Our current status is somewhere in between trying to plan and complete abstinence from it. Aka: The things that are important to me, I make sure they happen. The things that aren't, I let "the family" kick trash and do amazing things. They really are good at it.

(Side note! Ashley Imlay is coming (flying.. jealous) up here tomorrow to go to the Festival of Colors with me and I am so excited! Yaay!)

(Impatiently) What does this have to do with the blog title, Tifa?
The quirks of planning your wedding are ingrained traditions. Aka: There are certain people we normally hire for weddings, and you can't choose anyone else. You can try, but it's likely yours won't be as awesome/talented/economical as ours.

Over time I have found peace with their choices and mine, and the wedding will be happening, I promise. I have to tell about some of them. Because they're awesome, and they've featured in the past few days.

Ze Photos:
Russ Dixon

Russ was actually my choice.. though he technically counts as a family tradition because Jamie used him before me. But it's all good. I got a lot of crap for choosing him above free/family photographers, but any complaints were silenced when we got our engagement photos back after the photoshoot. You can see why: he rocks. And I love him. So excited for next week's wedding shoot! (:


Ze flowers: (I wanted to get... zhose flowhers for you. Name the movie please?)
Johnny Ashworth, Traces Inc.
Unfortunately, Joni does not have a website.. but you can read the reviews, if you want... XD
The shop is kind of fun, though. I got a misplaced email from them listing all their different brands of heirloom tomato seeds that will be available for purchase this year. There were a ton.

Joni is a tradition in our family (and for good reason). She did Mel's wedding 14 years ago, Jamie's 1 year ago, and probably more that I don't know about. I love her. (: Want to see what she's doing for me?

1) A white anenome boquet 

Technically two.. photos and wedding day.

2) Michael's boutonniere.. ah, it's so pretty!!

3) My hairpiece.. she made it. She made it. Wow.. for my wedding hair. Like? (:
This is like a rough draft, don't judge too harshly.

While we're on the topic of

Wedding Hair:

Jarom Mair

Currently Jarom is at Salon Lydia.. but this is the third time he's moved in ten years. (Read his review?)

Jarom is a tradition I was set on. He's done my mother, Mel, Jame, Tara, Livia (she's nine...), and I for about 15 years. We follow him when he moves, we bring him toffee at Christmas, and we love him dearly. He's more of a misplaced brother. (He informed me that I didn't have his permission to get married, but agreed to forgive me later... toffee was involved.)
If I had a stalker photo of Jarom, I would post it. He's 30...4? 34? He's very opinionated, and won't let you do anything stupid to your hair, even if you beg... which I have. He's waking up at 6am for me.. because Russ likes early photos.. sorry. I love you Jarom. 

If any of you ever want the most tastefully lovely haircut ever, you should call him. 

and many more. But I believe this has gone long, anyway. I love these people, and really would recommend them to anyone. I hope Tara has a slightly easier job of planning her wedding, though. 

Attempting to Be Sans Michael

love.sick
adjective
in love, or missing the person one loves, so much so that one is unable to act normally


Derivatives: lovesickness, noun

I have a serious case of lovesickness. I sincerely hope it's not contagious. It's potent enough that we'd probably all be screwed.

Michael and I have been engaged since January 5th/8th/15th, depending on how you score it. I'd say the 5th. That's 2 months and 19 days.
Holy cow. Sorry, I just had a moment. That's a long time. Anyway...
Excruciatingly long days, and we have spent 26 of them together. That's less than 1/3.
And can I just say, I don't act normally anymore. Like.. I'm dying. Inside. A lot. I frequently cry when we say goodbye. "I miss you" has become my most frequent phrase, even dominating over "I love you" sometimes. I pour over pictures of him and I, and usually end up staring at them. Yes, I'm dying.
Yes. I love him.
But I really can't take this for much longer.
It's a good thing we're getting married in >2 months.
(No, I didn't figure those days by myself.)

PS: Isn't he so freaking adorable?! We Google Video chatted tonight. I loved it. I actually got to see him [sort of]. He bought his wedding band (YAY!) and I got to see it. I used my characteristic gestures to tell him hilarious stories. Yes! I think this will probably happen more often.

Attempting to be sans Michael, and failing happily.

Procrastination and a Lemon Meringue Pie

I think this is a post of things to do.. things I want/have/need to do. That makes the next post on things done. Maybe you'll like it more? Find out.



Most every night I get an urge to go running the next morning.
Those who don't know me well would think this a pretty okay/normal thing to feel.
The rest of you, no mental support calls, please. I'll explain.

This is a serious step for me.. above all, I am not sporty. This is a fun distinction. I'm athletic, but not sporty. I like hiking, swimming (not the sport), and things that are physically challenging without being sports. Really, sports are such sadness. They bring back memories of 7th-10th grade PE (I quit after 10th). The athletes all stretch and warm-up, preparing to kick everyone else's trash in [insert sport here] for the third time this week. Everyone else just tries (flails, mostly), sometimes succeeding, but never enough to count for anything compared with all the wonderful athletes who are well-trained and actually enjoy doing this. No. I do NOT enjoy doing this.  I would rather ditch and do my homework in restitution. Thanks for the offer, though.

But, if I could run, that would rock.
Because people say running starts the moment you forget you're on a run. So it's like being active without all the suffering (at least once you get into it). That's the plan, my friends. Run without suffering. Eventually.

Unfortunately, I woke up this morning and there was snow on the ground.. like fresh snow.. like anti-run snow. So the starting day has been postponed. Honestly, I'm not that sad. I was having this awesome dream about Michael and exploring Lake Powell that I was quite sad to leave when the alarm demanded my attention.


But, it brings to mind the other things I want to do [that I've been putting off for who knows how long...], like:

Write Austin. The poor kid wrote me in January and has asked several friends to bug me into writing him back. I love you, Ipson, for your unreasonable patience.
Write Derek. Once again, January. And I'm getting married, too. Wow. My poor friends.
Write Chris. This is just because he's in freaking Russia. Chris and I have a no-writing unless warranted agreement. (:
Journal. When you go through the biggest changes in your life in the period of about 3 months and miss 2-ish months of journaling, you're in trouble. Especially when the finace kicks your trash in writing down your story. Dang.
Make my father a lemon meringue pie. (2 tries on that spelling..haha) Dad has this inside joke he makes with himself where "no one" ever makes him a lemon meringue pie. Said pie is his favorite, but, frankly, things in his house are rarely made from scratch. "No one" has frequently bought him this pie, but constructing it from nothing is another matter. Kind of a Tiffany matter. So that's the goal... due tomorrow.
Figure out a way to convey how much I love Michael, and tell him. Everyone, Michael is really good at showing love and taking care of me.. especially considering he's 2,000 miles away. Every day, I get to figure out how to even try to compare. But I'm getting there. You will see. Um, maybe you won't. It's likely to go straight to Michael and never hit the blog. Sorry.
Get my in-laws to give me their addresses for our announcements. The invites come in next week, and they go out pretty much asap... except I have to print labels for them..which I can't do without addresses.. and our families all have duplicates with each other... but I can't compare until I have something to compare. I'm working on it.
Get rid of a pesky face issue.. which will remain unnamed. Dang it.
Write a blog. Check. One down.
and, finally...
Convince Cody and Ashley to come to the Festival of Colors with me. Just saying... (:

P.S. Three letters down. Yay!

Mildly embarrassing moment: Chris is NOT, in fact, in Russia yet. He's in the MTC. 

Yet another reason not to write incorrect, yet hilarious, things in pen.

I shouldn't have covered the stamps. They're animal shelter cats. (: 

(But I bet the ones on the stamps are either dead or adopted.. just saying.)

The Life I Love to Figure Out

Lately, I've stopped feeling like I'm leading my life. Honestly, there's enough going on that I'm just "going with the flow". My future is so mind-boggling that the present is constantly just trying to catch up with its presence in my mind. Almost humorous, really.
My poor present. Sometimes it gets lost in the mix. I really want to write letters.. to my missionaries and my love. And I will.. I think. The thought just slips away once I start figuring out the future, instead of getting done. We'll see how that works out.

The most current occupation of my mind: ze invites!!! (: 

Want to see? 

This is almost entirely accurate/finished. And that's saying something. Put two incredibly picky/opinionated people like Michael and I together with the world wide web, millions of options, companies, formats, prices (gah!), and 300+ photos to choose from. It's just a recipe for nitpicking and overly extensive researching. But, hey. I figured it out.

Love the company. They're great. Love the invite, inserts, photos, colors, wordage, etc. And it will all be done soon. That's the best part. (insert sigh of relief)
As long as you're not a stalker internet reader that I don't know, you'll be seeing this soon. Do you like? (:

__________________________________________________

Adventures of the past week, also known as Spring Break. A very relative concept to me... school-less as I am at current, but not a relative concept for Michael (who is very school-full..ha.. at this moment). He flew out Wednesday night (and my night I mean almost Thursday morning.. it's all good) and stayed for 11 days. 10 1/2.. whatever. I love him. And we had serious adventures. 

By adventures I mean car issues. 

Tuesday:

(Driving to St. G)

T: Should we fill up on gas here? We have about 1/4 tank.

M: Nah. We'll be fine/fill up later. 

(Later, M clicks button that tells you the mileage left on the current tank.)

Mileage: 18

T and M:  (0.o)   ...craaaaaaap.

(Racking moments where the mileage clicks down... 7..6..5....4..)

(Random exit of providence.. with a sign that says Gas: .7 miles ---->)

T and M: *high five* 4 miles left and only .7 to go. Score.

Not.

T and M drive down a lonely road towards nowhere (also known as Kanosh-more than .7 miles away) while the mileage clicks down.. 4...3...2...1...

T puts head between knees and refuses to watch as the mileage makes its final click to 0

T and M pray fiercely and stop breathing

Mazda continues.. somehow.. for another 4 miles in to nowhere (Kanosh) where the Sinclair awaits the no-longer-breathing T and M

We fill up on gas. 

T doesn't speak for about a half hour in shock. M laughs nervously for a half hour in shock. They survive. 

Later, the TPMS (Tire pressure monitor system) light turns on. T and M check the tires and decide to ignore it, that's normal for the Mazda and the tires are fine. They make it to St. G.

Wednesday: 

T and M want to hike Red Cliffs.

They drive to Red Cliffs, and don't make it. Mazda decides the TPMS was right, and has a flat tire.

Insert super macho M who changes the tire (with much difficulty... something about cranking, corroded tires, kicking said corroded tire harder than should be physically possible while T braces the other side of the car, finally getting tire off... etc.) 

T and M drive to nearest insurance provider for said tire.. because the tire is new. Like spanking new. Yay warranty.

Said insurance provider doesn't provide "roadside assistance" insurance and therefore doesn't owe Mazda a new tire. But they're nice and give us a used one to get to SLC (where we'd get a new one). 

T and M [try to] drive home.

TPMS turns on.

T: No. No. NO. *drives home anyway*

T and M arrive home to find the same tire flat [AGAIN]. 

T: *slight wimper*

M: *hits head against nearby car*

Thursday:

Insurance company comes to fix the tire. It has a leaky sealing, and is remedied. 

T and M really hope this is the end.

Frankly, so does the Mazda.

T and M attempt [again] to go hiking at Red Cliffs and have a good time.

T gets sweet scratches (well deserved).

M gets down the mountain a different way and wades through sharp rocks and deep chilly water to get back to T. 

It all works. 

Amidst the sadness and struggle, we still love each other. And we're getting married. (: 

But that was really lame to deal with. 

We discovered when T gets frustrated she breathes deep and hard and is silent. M laughs to relieve the tension, and tries to make T feel better. Sweet of him.

Both eat cookies and Doritos to relieve stress. 

(They were really good.)

The Reasons we fly Delta

So.. last post was on Thursday. This one's on Friday.. let's just pretend the weeks are the same, yes? (:
Nah, it's all good.
Because I got to go see Michael. *sigh of relief and love and almost dying but not quite*
It had been a month.
Wow. Don't do that.
Don't. It's not fun.

The Reasons we (I.. America.. whoever) fly Delta:

1: Biscoff cookies. 

It's true and you know it. Have you had one? Did you eat ten instead of one? Did the people around you understand that you suddenly turned into a Biscoff-eating machine and give you theirs? Mine didn't. >:(

Stewardess: Would you like a snack? Peanuts, pretzels, cookie? 

Me: Cookiiiieeezz.z.. *drool*

Stewardess (to other guy): Would you like a snack? Peanuts, pretzels, cookie?

Other guy: No, thanks.

Me: *gawping* ...what? You.. I could have had that.. have you not tried Biscoff cookies or something?

Stewardess: *repeat*

Next lady: No, thanks.

And repeat about 5x. I was saddened.

I got braver, later on. On the last leg home the English guy next to me said no. Since he and I had become friends I informed the stewardess that he really wanted peanuts. They both laughed. But it worked. (:

Now picture ten instead of just one.

2. Yay Sky Miles!

Super thanks to my parents [in-law] who used their miles to buy Michael and I tickets this season. You're saving our lives. We love you.

3. Unintended Mechanical Issues

Why is this a reason we love Delta? Are you being sarcastic?

Nope.

Be me, seeing my adoring fiance for the first time in a month, staying for the amount of time which, while in USU, was the best we could do. 

Be me, not in college anymore, leaving before I really "have to" because I can't change my flight. 

Okay.

Now be me when the announcer guy tells you your plane is cancelled and offers a flight the next day.

Be Michael when I called and asked him to come get me from the airport.

Yay. (: We love Delta. 

Just don't be the guy next to me who got really pissed off. Nope. Be me. 

His name was Zach and he worked for the DIA in the Air Force... he hates SLC (where we were both headed, both days) and told me all about his married/divorced/dating/engaged life. For hours. We sat by each other on both days for over 2 hours waiting for said flight connection. Hilarious. He was way cool.

This post should be about: 

Day 4: Your parents

But, 1) long posts are hard to read, aren't they? Tell me, really. Because I can do short ones. Like today.

 And 2) I don't want to pass up my friends who are on day 5... that's a lame reason. It's mostly because of the long post. Let me know.


I have no idea why these last two paragraphs are a different sized font. But it really bugs me...XD 

A bit of theory and my life-to-be

Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name


This isn't the easiest thing to explain.. simply because it involves AP theory. We'll work with it. I've been thinking about this all day. (: 
Except, the thing is, I tend to post after midnight. Which means, to post on the "next" day, I can't really do this except after midnight. Or be really patient and wait until the next actual day. Unlikely. Eh. Welcome, everyone. It's 1229am. 

A Quick Lesson in Theory:

A4 is the theory shorthand for augmented 4th. 

An augmented 4th is an interval.

An interval is the space between two notes.

Therefore, A4 stands for a certain spacing between two notes.

Great.

Who cares?

Well.. theory people do. The A4 is actually called "the devil in music". Like, it's Satan's interval. It's the worst thing ever.. if you can hear it. I think it's the worst thing ever...in music, that is.

Okay, next. Here's a solfege C scale:

Scales have intervals.. between each note. The interval we're looking for, the augmented fourth (A4) is found between the two notes/syllables FA (on the F) and TI (on the B natural). Take my word for it, or go play it. It has six half steps between the notes, if you're gonna try for it.

If you take the syllables TI and FA, you get an A4. My name, for those who didn't know, is Tiffany. I think only Trently calls me Tifa.. and Janeth does too, sometimes. 

Oh. Dang. So do the juniors. Idea fail. Mostly Trent and Jane. 

Tiffany ---> Tifa

Tifa (Ti-Fa) is an A4.

I am the dissonant satanic interval in any major scale. Yay. 

Why does this matter?

Um. It doesn't. But it was interesting, right? 

In naming a blog, I wasn't about to write "Stories about Tifa". Though I was tempted. It's just not cool enough. So, we're cheating and making this slightly more interesting. I would have written "Stories of an A4"...but then you'd just wonder and start trying to classify it as a blood type or something before you got this explanation. Plus, it sounds better this way. 

That's it.

That's whatchyaoughtaknow [about my blog name]. 

-----------------------------------------------------------next!-----------------------------------------------

There are some of you who may be wondering what the freak I'm doing with my life. You're engaged?! You're moving!?? You're dropping out of USU!!!@##@!? Whaaaa... 


And then there are some of you who don't care. 


I don't know which reaction I should be more concerned with, really. 


In wishing to make this slightly more interesting/doable to read, I sought for a photo. Not gonna lie, I wrote "moving life explodes" into google. Unfortunately, even google cannot read my strange and twisted ideas into a perfect photo. So, I attempted to map my strange new life on google, instead. See photo.

No, you probably can't see it. This is a struggle. I would draw something better, but I lack a lovely scanner. 
Logan--->Centerville---->[Aruba, not pictured]--->NYC--->Houston, TX---->Charlottesville, VA----->???
Proper reaction: *gasp, faint, groan in wtf terror* ..not in that order.


I realized several things tonight:


1. I am marrying Michael. The end. 
There's really no contest there. No matter what, no matter how crazy my life is about to be, I am marrying him and I can't wait. Literally. I'm dying.
I already knew this.. it's just an add-on to the following statements. It's first because it's most important, not because it belongs there chronologically.


2. I'm leaving everything. AAAAAAAAH.
USU, Ari, Kenny, beloved friends @ USU who all deserve to be mentioned here but aren't because I hate typing, Tomma, Janeth, all (all) of my family/support group, everything I'm used to... like cats, reading, sleeping in, waking up in a familiar city where I can find Wal-Mart or Wendy's, my job[s], my beloved dry climate (dang you, humidity!), and perhaps most importantly: knowing what the freak I'm doing.


3. It's about time I had a bit of a break down. 
Let's not lie. I've been so chill about this. 
Me: "Psh, yeah! Married, moving, in love with said most wonderful man ever, want to hear about my plans for my life?...oh wait, there are none."
So tonight I got a bit of the necessarily forthcoming freak out moment out of the way. To Michael, that is. And I realized something else.


4. I'm actually really terrified.
I don't know why this never hit me before, but the day has finally come. I'm doing what?! 
I'm leaving everything. I'm literally abandoning my life and starting it all over in new circumstances that I have no real control over and just going with it. I'm.. whew. Wow. 


Understand that, in general, me and God have a pretty quiet relationship. For most of my life I knew he was there, and wondered why he never talked to me much. It was only in my really desperate "Please help me, I can't handle this" moments that I felt it strongly. That I heard him calm me. Those moments were profound, but they were still very few. We're quiet, God and I. Until recently.
I swear, if God had more in mind for me right now I might not be able to handle it. Ha. Knock, someone, please. Let's say the past two months have been a freaking storm of new ideas for me to take on, new plans, new life... aaaah. God's given me a list of things he wants me to do. And the best part is:


5. I'm so doing it.
I want this, so much. I love Michael. I love hearing what God has to say to me, and going with how absolutely terrifying it is, taking it in a seriously-deep-breath stride. Let's try DC 111:11. I'll do it for you:


"Therefore, ...I will order all things for your good, as fast as ye are able to receive them. Amen."


Just accept the plan, and move on. Give you two days before he gives me something else. But, you know what? It's great. I'm so good with it. I have to freak out sometimes, but that will never stop me from trying. 


My life-to-be, everyone. Still unfolding.